


Ain't Easy

by Kirabiyaka



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Post CA:TWS, domestic AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 14:26:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4838615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirabiyaka/pseuds/Kirabiyaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They never thought having a family could turn them against each other so easily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ain't Easy

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say. it's MPreg, per usual from me. I first posted 400 words of this on my tumblr a while back, revisited it and decided to work on it. It may become a series, but for right now it's a stand alone piece.

“Are you alright?” Steve’s hand touches his shoulder, it’s a gently gesture, loving, and full of the utmost concern. Sam can’t bring himself to say anything. He isn’t okay, not in the least bit. He stares ahead, jaw set, silently fuming. “Never mind.” his partner quickly retracts his hand. “I’m going to get dinner. I don’t care how mad you are at me, you’ve got to eat something.” 

Sam’s anger boils to the surface and he glares daggers into Steve before standing and heading for the bedroom. The Captain flinches when he hears the door slam and rattle the entire frame of the house. Part of him fearful about Sam’s increasing strength, the other angry as well. He’s moments away from losing it, then he takes a deep breath, breathing out the fear and the rage. He shrugs his jacket off and steps out of his shoes. 

Meanwhile Sam’s locked the bedroom door, sitting against it. He can hear Steve approaching, though the soldier’s footsteps are calculated to be as soft as possible. “Sam..” He doesn’t knock, in favor of pressing his body against the wood door. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just-- I wasn’t thinking, okay? What I said was inconsiderate and selfish.” 

“You’re damn right it was.” Sam’s voice is hoarse, laced with unshed tears. Steve palms the door, heart aching as he realizes what he’s done. The entire conversation replays in his head. How each word alienated Sam and drove daggers into his heart.

“I didn’t mean a word of that.” he pleads. “I panicked.” Hopefully, Sam would realize how sincere he was. “All I could think about was the threat of HYDRA, and how we don’t know who we could trust anymore, not with rogue agents popping up everywhere. You understand, don’t you?” 

All Steve’s doing is digging a deeper hole for himself as far as Sam’s concerned. He couldn’t understand, not even a little. All the time they’d spent trying, Steve had never mentioned it not once and now-- now that this was finally happening he was already trying to find a way out of it. He’d heard enough, cheeks wet as he’d stood and flung the door open. “Yeah, I understand.” he spat, unable to look his partner in the eyes. “ If you didn’t want a baby, all you had to do was say so. HYDRA has nothing to do with this, stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself, Steve. “ He mumbled and pushed past the super soldier. “You know how long we’ve been trying to do this. How many--” Sam’s voice cracked painfully, making Steve flinch where he stood. “How many times did you pretend to be disappointed with me. Why didn’t you just tell me?!” He’d never raised his voice like this. It was just unlike him. where they were 

Steve took a step back, bowing his head in shame. He deserved every bit of the lashing out. It did seem that way. He was, after all, letting his fear get in the way of being happy with his husband. Sam was right. HYDRA had been a threat since they met, they decided on having a child in the midst of running from HYDRA. They moved from their almost lavish house in outer DC to an inner city apartment. They were staying the lowest of low in the hopes of raising a family. Hell, Sam had waited for nearly four months before he’d even told Steve, so they could be sure they’d be able to stay there long term. He knew Sam didn’t want to talk any more, and neither did he really, since he had nothing to say. “I’ll be back in a little while.” He said quickly, backing away and practically running down the hall, putting his shoes and jacket back on. 

Steve needed to fix this. First things first, he was still concerned about Sam. He needed to eat something and they’d yet to go grocery shopping this week, so take out would have to do. Also, he needed to find a way to get back in his husband’s good graces. Sam was at a sensitive time in his pregnancy, not to mention the side effect’s of the serum. The baby was strong, and he knew Sam spent more days hurting than not and it would only get worse the further along he got. Yet, here he was causing him emotional pain too. He felt like he deserved to be labeled the worst husband in all history.   
For a while, Steve wandered. He’d walked to a Chinese place, just a few blocks over and they needed time to cook what he had ordered for them. He just felt bad. Sam had tried so hard to just stay strong in all this and Steve had just torn him down. He was back in less than an hour though, steaming hot bag of Chinese food in his hands and a sincere look on his face. He was glad to see their bedroom door open when he got back, and he could see Sam laying down, and the soft glow of the television. “Don’t get up.” He announced, walking down the hall. 

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Sam said back. He didn’t turn around or even move for that matter. 

Steve said nothing, making a pit stop in the kitchen to grab a couple plates and cans of soda. He sighed, knowing how much of Sam’s mood he had caused. “I got those dumplings you like, the fried ones with the special sauce. And lo-mein.” He murmured softly when he came into the room. He hoped they could at least share a meal, even if it was a quiet one. 

Sam was a bit more open to Steve upon his husband’s return. He was hungry now, so he definitely appreciated that he came back with food. “Thank you.” He hummed as he sat up, crossing his legs beneath him. 

Steve had gotten himself orange chicken. He fixed lo-mein onto a plate for Sam first, with a few dumplings on the side. Then he piled his own plate high with rice, topping it with gooey chicken. He couldn’t eat until he’d gotten some things off his chest though. He reached over and grabbed Sam’s hand, gently squeezing over his fingers. “Of course I want this baby.” he said softly. “ Just the thought of losing either of you, at the hands of anyone terrifies me so much. I just, I don’t know. Sam, I can’t express how sorry I am.”

“You think I don’t know it’s hard?” Sam asked, reciprocating Steve’s hand massage. “If someone were to find us, I can’t even fight them off right now. I know it’s scary, Steve, but we can’t afford to worry about HYDRA or anyone but ourselves.” He explained as patiently as he could. He knew it wasn’t even, he never thought for a moment it would be. “I love you.” he sighed, leaning over their plates to press a kiss to Steve’s lips. 

“I love you too, both of you.” Steve pressed his hand to the curve of Sam’s stomach, silently begging for forgiveness.


End file.
